A woman I know once had a long-standing flirtation with a hunky school friend. All through university and first jobs they stayed in touch, occasionally sending saucy text messages and keeping tabs on the other’s love life.
A few years ago she found herself on a business trip to Singapore, where he was based, and agreed to meet up for a drink. Drinks turned into dinner turned into an overnight romp turned into a raunchy weekend getaway to a nearby island.
“I packed a bikini, condoms and a bottle of vodka; we made love day and night, and had a totally fabulous time,” she says. Being the smart and sassy gal she is, my friend knew this romance would never last in the ‘real’ world (he was a hunk, but a narcissistic hunk after all) and was able to enjoy it for what it was then move on, sated and re-energised.
Welcome to the holiday fling! How is it that seemingly sane and reasonable women can morph into sex-crazed divas after clearing Customs? “What tends to happen is when people go into holiday mode they want to be titillated, rewarded and excited because they feel they’ve earned it,” says Jackie Furey, psychotherapist and Director of Bedrooms to Boardrooms.
 “Not only are you expecting something magical to happen on holiday, you’re sending the vibes that you’re up for something exciting to occur. Suddenly you’ll find that people who might not approach you in your everyday life will start to show interest.” Whether it’s the sexy waiter in the Italian café or the dark and handsome Brazilian musician who makes your heart skip a beat, holiday flings can provide a welcome escape from the predictable routine of everyday.
For some overseas lovers the exotic can even become the norm – more than 35,000 Australians sponsored a foreign partner to come and live in the country in 2005-06, according to the Department of Immigration and Multicultural Affairs. The most common nationality represented was the UK, proving Aussies and Poms do have more in common than just a shared love of cricket, followed by China, the Philippines, India, Vietnam and the US.
But Furey warns it’s not all beer and skittles in the overseas love game. “It’s one thing to give yourself permission to let your hair down but it’s another thing to step outside your values,” she says. “Sex may come from the carefree side of ourselves but it’s the adult, professional part of us that needs to make the decisions around who, why and when.
Just as you plan out your money and finances before a holiday, considering any bills that have to be paid when you get back, so you need to consider the repercussions of a fling.” “Having said that, remember that one day in the future you’ll be sitting on your porch as an old lady, reminiscing about all the experiences you’ve had. I dare say you won’t regret what you did, but you might regret who you didn’t do.”
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